It has been a long week (and it’s only Wednesday!) and I am weary. I cannot, quite honestly, be bothered to put much effort into anything much, and certainly not into my prayer life. Not this week, not today. For today I am just showing up, and trusting God for the rest.
And I am so thankful to find in this poem a Christ who, when I cannot manage to will, or choose, or even to wish, continues to love me, to accept me, to desire me. Somewhere deep within, buried beneath all my weariness, I feel an answering longing stir. The smallest, weakest, most flickering flame. But even that, God will not put out, God will honour and desire and enjoy.
Yes, I long to thirst for God as God thirsts for me, I long to be bold and open to where God is leading me. But for today, God knows, I am just about managing to show up, to be present. A bruised reed, a tiny, barely-smoldering flame. And God says: it is enough.
This year for #AdventBookClub a group of us are reading “In The Bleak Midwinter” by Rachel Mann. Join us on Facebook or Twitter for daily reflections and discussions. We are also raising money for the Trussell Trust: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/adventbookclub2019.